Buy It All

Veni, Vidi, Visa... I came, I saw, I did a little shopping! Has the bank replaced your plastic Platinum card with a steel plated Plutonium one? Do your credit card bills arrive on a CD ? Do your fingers feel numb from opening bills? Do you have carpal tunnel syndrome from carrying shopping bags? Have you requested to have your ashes scattered around the Mall? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it's time to own up, pardon the pun. You are a Shopaholic.
There is only one cure for this expensive disease and that is "BUYITALL" pills. Use these pills and you'll never want to shop again! Everytime you feel the urge to shop, swallow 2 pills with 1 cup of castor oil and 8 ounces of prune juice. Wait 15 minutes and see if you still feel like shopping!

Dr. Owen Munny. Gottahavit Laboratories, Poor Credit, California