You have middle age neurosis!
Hitting middle age is a major source of depression leading to the purchase of ridiculously expensive cars, foolish looking clothes along with blood pressure, cholesterol, heart, arthritis and sexual disfunction pills! Save your money and sanity at the same time.
Directions: Take 2 Middle Age Crazy Pills every morning with 16 ounces of prune juice.
CAUTION: Do not operate heavy equipment or drive. Just stay home and face it. You're not getting older, your getting bolder!
Dr. Les Hair, Menna Pause Laboratories, Droopy Falls Ohio.