To make your retirement pleasant for those around you, take Retirement Pills, the pills that'll keep your breath fresh during those long hours in front of the television set. Enjoy minty breath while you forge ahead with mind boggling tasks like changing channels, turning up the volume, getting snacks, complaining, sneering and passing gas . . .
We hope this pack of pills will ease your post-job tension,
At least until you find that we have pissed away your pension. You've been a good employee so dilligent and true but there is no "i" in "our team" and now there is no "u".
Dr. Les Mula, Goldwatch Laboratories, Oldfolk, Virginia